Politicians always make fancy speeches about accountability at election time but they never define concrete measures to reform the operation of government and they never deliver the goods once they are in power. Waste and abuse is rampant. Partisan theft is rampant. Politicians rack up expenses that have nothing to do with delivering services and everything to with their own political ambitions. Why can't government evolve from being an expensive, wasteful 19th century partisan bureaucracy into a cost efficient, effective, customer service based delivery system? When you really think about it what do we need politicians for exactly? What real purpose do they serve in the bigger picture of what government is supposed to be? We don't need politicians. We need managers, technicians, accountants, developers, diplomats, negotiators and so on. Politicians as they currently exist are a colossal waste of time and money. All you do is argue with each other and confuse the citizenry with your bullshit. You drag us into your partisan fights and cause nothing but disharmony and upset. If I had my way I would replace politicians with skilled, intelligent people who have no political agenda and can run a large operation like the Canadian government. Why is it so hard to figure this out? I was hoping someone like yourself who is not a career politician would get this idea. You've been complaining to the heavens about partisan waste and corruption and I was hoping you would propose a plan to stop the insanity. So far all you've done is make noise rather than propose real reform measures. I urge you to develop a plan to reboot the government and give us something that is geared toward the service of Canadians rather than what we have now which is a system primarily designed to elect political parties. Stephen Harper has made it clear he has no interest in changing anything so here's your chance to differentiate yourself from him. Unless you just want to keep things as they are so so you can take your turn and belly up to the same tax funded trough. You say you love this country and you came home to serve. If that's true you can easily prove it by striving to be a visionary instead of being just another political opportunist making fancy speeches.
Not to belabour the point but perhaps I was being too subtle before. This blog is a complete fiction. The Bionic Liberal is in no way affiliated with the Liberal Party of Canada and does not reflect the views or official positions of that organization and should not be taken as such. Anyone who does so is far too enthusiastic and may require an intervention forthwith.
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If You Really Must Know:
Q: Is the Bionic Liberal Pro-Ignatieff or Anti-Ignatieff?
A: It is both and neither. What a ridiculous question. Are you pro-yourself or anti-yourself? We each have our good days and bad days. All one can hope to do is have more good than bad or at least break even.
Q: Is this blog for or against the Liberal Party of Canada?
A: Seeking neither to please nor displease but merely expressing an individual point of view, this blog is following in the footsteps of what has long been a tradition of Canadian Liberalism, insomuch as a healthy disrespect for authority is always necessary for the health of our democracy. Draw your own conclusions from that, bearing in mind your mileage may vary.
Q: Are you an Iggy apologist?
A: There are many better suited than I for that task, assuming I even agree with the premise of that question, which is to say that any apologies are even indicated in this instance, not that I do for I may not.
Q: The original title of this blog was "So I'm an asshole. I won. Suck it up." Why did you change it? Are you less of an asshole now than you were then?
A: Good Lord no! But I do find myself becoming a more mellow asshole as time goes by.
Q: Why did you support the Iraq war?
A: Asked and answered. Next question.
Q: Do you advocate the use of torture?
A: Asked and answered. Now sod off.
Q: Why did you vote to support Stephen Harper 79 times in the house?
A: Why Don't you ask Jack Layton and Gilles Duceppe that question? They were supporting Stephen Harper long before I ever came to Ottawa.
Q: Why don't you allow comments on your blog?
A: I have yet to be convinced that allowing comments is a wise policy but I will consider this issue very carefully and continue to take it under advisement. I have, in fact, initiated a study on the matter and Gerard Kennedy is preparing a report to be presented at a later date. However, when I see the linear thinking on display from some partisan quarters, I'm not sure I'd enjoy being a surrogate punching bag for the real Ignatieff. If I were to provide such a therapeutic service for the politcally unbalanced, I'd surely have to charge for it.
Q: Do you care about the polls?
A: Of course. Poland is one of the finest countries in the world and a friend to Canada.
Q: Do you care what the media says about you?
A: Why? What have you heard? Sorry, just having a laugh there. The media you say? Well, the only one I really care about is Chantal Hebert and she wounds me regularly but otherwise, no, don't care.
Q: Are you still friends with Bob Rae?
A: Bob who?
Q: Is there much tension between you and Stephane Dion?
A: Since Mr. Dion is no longer speaking to me, I have no idea what he thinks on the matter. No hard feelings on my part to be sure. No, that's not entirely true. A wee bit of hard feelings every once in a while. But not much. Really, I'm fine.
Q: Why do you sometimes refer to yourself in the third person?
A: I'm hoping if I say Ignatieff enough times people will stop calling me Iggy.
Q: Are you deliberately trying to sound elitist when you refer to yourself using the Royal We?
A: What the dickens are you on about? Elitist we certainly are not.
Q: Why do you sometimes sound like Yoda in your blog?
A: And bad thing why, sounding like Yoda is?
Q: Is Warren Kinsella really as scary as they say?
A: You have no idea.
Q: Why don't you talk about Mimi more?
A: If you yearn to hear more about my cat, go to my Twitter page. That's where I muse on more fanciful topics. This blog is reserved for serious politics only.
Q: How do you get your hair so nice?
A: I eat lots and lots of radishes.
Fake Quotes By Famous People:
"Nobody puts Iggy in a corner!" ~ Sheila Copps
"The world needs another fake Liberal like it needs an extra hole in the patooty." ~ Preston Manning
"The Bionic Liberal is a parody? But aren't all politicians parodies on some level? So who could ever tell a parody from the real thing?" ~ Margaret Atwood
"Having an extra fake Iggy is redundant, wasteful, and much like the original, not at all green." ~ David Suzuki
"If the real Ignatieff were this ballsy maybe I'd vote for him." ~ Rex Murphy
"If the real Ignatieff was this much fun maybe I'd vote for him." ~ Rick Mercer
"Mon ostie de saint-sacrament de câlice de crisse!" ~ Gilles Duceppe
"The fact that he's fake makes it much easier for me to find at least one nice thing to say about him." ~ Elizabeth May
